good night, moon

the blending colors of the evening sky caught my eye through the living room window.
i quickly grabbed my camera and my tripod and headed outside. the sweet orange melted ever so slowly with the crystal clear blue, fading into an inky black. the twinkling lights started to pop up out of nowhere, and i tried to catch my breathe that i had lost while in awe as this scene unfolded. this ordinary, everyday beauty is something i take for granted. the millions of stars shining above my head, it was breathtaking. inspiring. beautiful. unbelievable. i wish i could bottle it all up, and watch them every night. to share this beauty with everyone, to give them some hope and dreams, is a goal that can never be reached. to touch the stars is impossible. but i came to a realization that, although stars cannot be touched, your dreams can. set off for the stars, don't set a limit. because someday, the impossible will become possible. after all, there are footprints on the moon.
xo, gracie 


a letter to myself

You've been hurt. You've been hurt once more by someone you love and it's slowly ripping at your heart. The pain is deep inside you. It only comes out on bad days, and it leaks out slowly, hour by hour, until you feel you must collapse. All those terrible lies the devil has told you come back too. The lies about no one liking you. The lies about you being horrible.

But your day does not stop for you to sit and pity yourself. Your day does not stop for you to sit and cry. Your day keeps on going, and you must trudge along with it. You must brush yourself up, wipe away the tears, and continue on with your day. The pain keeps on, but life keeps on too.

You've got to let go of all your worries. Let go of all the hurtful things you've been told. God is right here with you, urging you on, telling you He's got it all together, and because of that you don't have to. Your worries of not getting to college, of no one liking you, of no guy wanting to marry you, of being alone. They're all dust in the wind. They mean nothing, and in fact they're hurting you.

So though it may seem slightly impossible, you have no choice. You must continue. And it won't be that hard. God will be right next to you the entire time. He's whispering words of comfort to you, telling you to trust in Him for everything. I can't say you'll never feel this way again. You most likely will, actually. But it's much easier when you have Someone to lean on.



clouds outside the window.

i don't remember the last time i woke up and the sky was a solid layer of clouds. when the air smelled of ozone and goosebumps spread across my arms making me regret my decision not to bring a jacket. it hadn't rained, but the air said it was promising. i don't remember the last day like that. and it's sad.

since i've started community college and become used to my surroundings, one of my favourite places to be is in my english classroom. sounds nerdy, i suppose, but it's true. i like the atmosphere. i notice the way people find one seat and make it their own for the whole semester, the silence before class starts and the uproar when someone says what everyone else is thinking. i noticed, one day in class, that there was a picture window at the back of the room. everyday since i found it, i looked at the window and i never liked what i saw. the sun was shining, casting a harsh glow on the cars and the trees, and the sky was a tad bit too blue for the entire colour scheme.

i always wished that one day i would turn around and see clouds. the classrooms were always cold, and my professor most always wore a sweater of some sort, and it seemed to me that it was only fitting for the weather to line itself up. well, yesterday, it did.

the day our first paper was due, our professor had a small presentation for us that required the pull-down monitor. she turned off the lights with a click and instantly the skies grew three shades darker. a fellow classmate whispered in an ominous voice, "it was a dark and stormy night," and the rest of the class giggled, even though i felt a chill running up my spine.

i've always enjoyed weather like this more. i adore sunshine, truly, i do, but there's nothing like the eerie enchantment of a sky looming above the rooftops, tea whistling in their pots, and a good book waiting to be finished. seems like the typical rainy day, but i think those are the best days to do that sort of thing. don't you?



falling slowly down

i woke up. it was cooler than usual, and my room carried the unmistakable smell of rain.
peculiar, i thought, i didn't hear it rain last night.
i rubbed the sleep from my eyes and opened my bedroom door. i felt a chill roll down my arms and to my toes. was i dreaming? why was it so cool out here? texas weather never feels so good this early in september. but i wasn't dreaming. the high was only in the 80's that day and as i stepped outside the air smelled of pumpkins, corn maizes and chunky knit sweaters. 
fall is finally on its way.


words that fill my mind but not my mouth

Here's a journal entry from the other day. I'm not exactly sure if what I said made any sense, but it's just something I felt like sharing.

I’m not entirely sure whether I should receive the words “you’re quiet” as a compliment or an insult. Maybe the giver of words is complimenting my ability to listen and contemplate, rather than give my two cents of everything. Maybe he thinks just a bit more of me simply because I like to listen.
Or maybe the giver of words belittles me in his mind for my apparent unsocialization. Maybe he thinks I have nothing to say. Maybe he thinks I’m bored and uninterested. Maybe he sees me as a nuisance to this conversation, as I’m merely shaking my head and muttering a few words here and there.
One thing you have to understand with me is I have two hundred words but I say ten of them. My mind longs to let out a string of words, whether interesting or not, but my larynx thinks otherwise.
It’s not that I can’t think of anything to say, it’s that I don’t say everything I think. If you traveled into the depths of my mind (which I would advise running far, far away if ever the opportunity arises), you would find me to be a very talkative person. You might even consider me outgoing, which is a word I only used to be described as. The main thing that changed between then and now is my thoughts got louder and my voice got quieter.
I guard my words. I let few people know exactly what I’m thinking, if any at all. Words are powerful in my mind. Few words sometimes tell more than a lot. And so I choose to carefully pick a few words, letting the rest speak for itself. I find no need to continue talking when everything has already been said.
Of course, this is me. I know plenty of talkative people who I admire very much.
Here I am, explaining to you that I say little, while I’m going on and on.
So I shall end this little excerpt here. And while I still haven’t the slightest whether the words I get so very often, you’re quiet, are usually said as a compliment or usually said as an insult, I feel I understand myself a bit better, if nothing else.|



sketchbooks, like life...

This is my sketchbook. Between the pages are memories, lessons learned, miscellaneous photos and prints. Every once in a while, I slow down and pull it out. Sprawling out on the floor, I get lost in the process, and lose track of time.

This book has some sketches that I can hardly bear to show anyone. A sketch that I thought would be a masterpiece is an utter failure... or is it? Sure there are sketches that I wouldn't put on display in a museum, but they are a part of the learning process.  You see, sketchbooks are kind of like life. Some pieces turn out wonderfully, and you want to show them to the whole world. Some make you want to rip them out of the book. But they go together. We make mistakes, but we learn from them. The more mistakes we make, the more lessons we have learned, and the better our artwork becomes. Even the best artists aren't perfect, but I'll bet you that the best ones learn from their least pleasing pieces and work towards something better.

In the end, I know the sketchbook of my life won't be perfect. It will have some halfhearted drawings, some tearstained pages, and a few sheets scarred with one deep pencil scrape after another, all erased in attempt to cover my mistakes. But with the help of the Lord, I may also have some beautiful, abstract, or colorful pieces of art that will outshine the scribbles. I will have learned from my mistakes and created something to be proud of.

So don't be discouraged, my darling! Just because your drawing didn't turn out today, there's always tomorrow to create a masterpiece. Keep your chin up.

I know you can to great things.


p.s. I am sad to announce that in a few weeks, I will no longer be contributing to this blog. It has been such a privilege and an honor writing for you! Thank you so, so much for all of your encouraging comments! You mean a lot to me, lovelies. 


revisiting old memories

school has finally begun at our house, but that won't stop me from thinking back to this summer.
the months of july and august were good to me. our family vacation took place during that time; i got to meet fellow AOU member jocee and the lovely bleah; i went roller skating for the first time in years; shot a wedding... and basically, i had the most wonderful summer of my life. the memories i made are so special to me, and ones i will cherish for a lifetime to come.
oh september, i can't wait to see what you have up your sleeve. be nice, okay? please and thank you.

so how was your summer, darlings? any special memories you'd like to share?
xo, gracie


donuts, music, and passing kansas.

Some adventures are just picture-perfect. Especially when you have Kansas flying by your window.

Why don't you adventure today?